Marcel St. Pierre

“Klandestiny Jones has been eating peanuts out of the shell for years, and Klandestiny Jones ain’t about to quit eating peanuts out of the shell now!” hollered Klandestiny Jones, to anyone within earshot of the checkout line of the Washburn, Illinois Save-On. In reality, Klandestiny Jones was allergic to peanuts. But she was scared out … Read more

DAY 1: Stared at spoons attempting to bend one. DAY 2: SPOON BENT! Telekinetic Corps, here I come! DAY 3: Busted for using hands not mind to bend spoon yesterday. Think Anders ratted? DAY 14: FUCKING ANDERS totally BENT SPOONS! Asshole got in Mindfreak Platoon! DAY 15: SPOON THOUGHTS! SEMPER FI, MOTHERFUCKER! WANT THIS! Dependant … Read more

To say absolute attention had been paid to the President’s final speech was an understatement.  Moments ago, during closing remarks on social reform, his voice had risen one octave, then another, like a boiling kettle. As his voice rose, his body vibrated, till all the Senators sat upright and stared open-mouthed – especially Senator Guthrie, … Read more