Happy New Year! If you’re here, you’re either following links from my facebook feed, from twitter, or perhaps even from Books Go Social – so thanks for doing that! Made any crazy resolutions this year? Have you given them up already? No judgement.
Here’s a resolution of mine… never, ever, ever do what I did once and accept an unsolicited cab ride from Laguardia to Manhattan. From someone you are pretty sure isn’t actually a cabbie. What can I say? I was in New York for the first time and I didn’t want to seem impolite. First mistake. So, yes, the following story really happened to me… sort of. It’s one of the short, weird stories I’ve written that actually doesn’t appear in my book Vengeful Hank & Other Shortweird Stories… but will appear in my next book. So you get to read this draft here, first, exclusively! And then, see how YOU can get ME to write YOU your very own custom limerick!
But first… to New York…
345-word post, or “Airport Cab” | Monday, December 9, 2013
Grant Blank had just picked up his luggage from the carousel when he saw the man smiling at him from behind cheap sunglasses, under a tuft of unkempt brown hair that was greying at the temples.
“You lookin’ for a cab?”
“Uh…” said Blank. “Yeah…”
He was indeed looking for a cab, but as friendly as this man was, Grant seemed to remember he’d heard somewhere that you should never to accept a ride from a cabbie inside the terminal.
“Where you headed? I’ll take you,” said the man, beginning to walk away before Grant could actually answer the questions. Grant felt a bit wary; it all seemed too easy and too suspicious, but he was tired and just wanted to get to his hotel. The man LOOKED like cabbie, and when Grant watch himed head towards the automatic glass doors under a sign that read TAXI, it seemed legit.
Grant picked up speed to keep up with the briskly walking man. “I’m over this way,” said the cabbie, and Grant followed him along the line of parked taxis waiting for fares. But when they passed the first cab in the line, Grant grew apprehensive. “Are you supposed to grab customers right out of the terminal?” he asked.
When you get a http://www.wouroud.com/bitem.php?ln=fr generic cialis in australia good site, you can enjoy a romantic dinner with your partner before having a wonderful night. These are problems like a order generic cialis mild to moderate rise in the number of auto accidents injuries here in Naples, FL, as well. People always look at the deep specifications before buying a costly viagra online online camera. It tones the tissues cialis discount cheap by improving blood supply. “Listen, if I lived by the rules around here I’d never make a living,” replied the man, leading him to a green dumpster with the word “CAB” written on it in spray paint. As he climbed the rungs on it to lift the lid, Grant felt he had to protest. “Okay, whoa. What is this?”
“This IS your first time to New York, ain’t it?” said the guy, with a touch of irritation. Grant began walking away. The man yelled after him. “Thanks for wasting my time, asshole!”
“Do we feed?” rasped a voice from inside the dumpster.
“Not yet, my master” said the man, with a bit of trepidation. “I’m sorry.”
“Boo,” growled the voice impatiently. “Methinks eating you instead.”
“But then who would sing you to sleep?” stammered the man.
“Touche,” said the dumpster voice.
The end…? And really, aren’t we all just trying to keep our own dumpster voice from eating us alive, every day? Just me?
THE SHORTWEIRD STORIES LIMERICK OFFER
If you order a paperback copy of the book from Amazon, simply post a picture of you with my book on the Shortweird Stories Facebook fan page, I’ll write you a custom limerick and tag you! Post a picture of yourself with the ebook, and you get a haiku! Available in kindle or paperback on Amazon: http://tiny.cc/vengfulhank Here’s what some fans and followers already posted… check Facebook to see their limericks (and in some cases, haikus!)
