“Tell me,” said the psychologist, holding up a large white card with an inkblot on it. “When you look at this, what do you see?”
The girl on the couch stared at it a few moments. “Dunno.” she said.
“Is it a unicorn?” he said.
“No.” she said.
“You don’t see a unicorn?” he said.
“Not really.”
“Not really? So you’re not sure if you see a unicorn or not?”
“No.”
“When you say ‘no’, you mean you’re not sure if you see a unicorn?”
“No.”
“I see,” said the psychologist, nodding and scribbling notes. He put on a fur hat and tilted his head to the left.
“And now?” he said.
“And now what?” she asked.
“Now what do you see?”
“A fur hat on your head?” she said.
“Do you see a unicorn?”
“No.”
“You don’t see a unicorn wearing a fur hat when I do this?”
“No.”
“I don’t look anything like a unicorn wearing a fur hat when I do this?”
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“I see,” said the psychologist, nodding and scribbling notes. From his desk he produced a small jar of spirit gum, which he dabbed under her nose. He then pulled out a fake moustache and placed it on her upper lip. Then he held up a mirror to the girl’s face.
“Now,” he said. “What do you see?”
“A fake moustache?” she said.
“Do you see a unicorn?”
“No.”
“Not a unicorn on your lip?”
“No.”
“You’re absolutely certain that’s not a unicorn on your upper lip?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, you mean you see a unicorn on your upper lip?”
“No.”
“No what?”
“No, I don’t see a unicorn on my lip.”
“And why not?”
“Because it’s a moustache.”
“I see,” said the psychologist, nodding and scribbling notes. He smiled. “And that’s our time. Next week, yes?”
“Sure,” said the girl.
As the psychologist shut the door behind her, his smiling face fell instantly, almost making an actual sound. He removed his unicorns and rubbed his eyes. He sat down heavily on his unicorn and looked out the unicorn at all the unicorns outside.
