“Do you know why I’ve stopped you, sir?” asked the Canadian Border guard at the Toronto International Airport.
“No,” replied the traveler, who was wearing a garbage bag for a poncho and buckets for shoes. The buckets were full of water and small fish were jumping to and from each bucket happily, feeding on flakes the man had sprinkled there moments earlier.
“I did a background check on your passport, and it seems you were denied entry into Canada on 12 separate occasions in the last 6 years.”
“Yes.”
“But when I initially asked you if you had ever been denied entry into Canada earlier, you said no.”
“Right.”
“So you lied to me,” said the guard, evenly.
“No.” replied the garbage bag man. “I just didn’t know if you meant by you.”
“I don’t understand you, sir. What do you mean?” asked the guard.
“I thought you meant if I had been denied entry in Canada before by you personally, and no, it was different guards those times.”
“Okay,” replied the guard, looking at the man’s information on the screen. He glanced again at the man’s homemade passport, made from a yellow softcover moleskin notebook with the word PASSPORT written on the front cover in marker. “Do you realize this is not a legal passport, sir?”
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“No.”
“Did you make this passport yourself, sir?”
“Yes. No.” said the man. Then, “Yes.”
“Where are you from, sir?” said the guard.
“The airplane?” said the man.
“Sir, I have no way of telling who you are. You have improper identification and you were found hiding in the bathroom of the stall. I’m going to have to detain you. Please come this way.”
And at that moment, the man touched the guard on the shoulder and leaned in to his ear. “Remember,” he whispered.
The guard’s breath hitched, and he turned into a fish and plunked into the bucket along with the others.
The garbage bag man sighed. There had to be a better way than this to make a living.
