Nobody in Hingebottom Corners was sure exactly when they’d noticed that Gliderail Tornburch could walk on walls, but they’d come to accept it as just another one of those things that made the people and the life in this town interesting.
For instance, Meredith Glymph could find lost objects. Misplaced a hammer? Call Meredith. Where’s my party dress? Call Meredith.
George Clancy? Well, he was a nervous man who could hear the secret thoughts of crows. Which never really came in handy in polite conversation, as it seems all crows ever really thought about was necrophilia. When asked about it, he always lied and said all crows thought about was eating road kill, but that was only true when humans were watching.
The Mayor could put out fires by just looking at them… a fact more or less cancelled out by the fact that he was also unwittingly plagued by sleep arson. Everybody in town knew it, too, because he was narcoleptic and sleeping half the time, but he kept taxes low and therefore had been reelected 4 times.
Everybody in the town who did not possess some special ability wished very much that they did. For instance, the Nordbutler twins – though not identical – still dressed alike, and for years had tried to convince the town they were good at math. They were not, but everybody still hired them every year to do their taxes because they tried so hard.
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In fact, the ratio of people with ‘gifts’ in this town to the ‘norms’ was 3 to 1…. or exactly “Three-point-five to bananas,” as Aaron Nordbutler had put it.
One day, the ‘norms’ had a meeting to discuss their situation. Being without powers made them feel, well, powerless, and they felt they had to band together and do something.
One of them had a bible, so they built an ark, and piled onto it. And at that point they realized their special power was stupidity… but by then it was too late, and it began to rain.
