Over the crest of the next hill, Megabob Thunder could see a huge billowing cloud of black smoke. Vultures were circling overhead. This wasn’t going to be pretty.
He pulled over to the side of the road; rather, he stomped on the brakes and squealed to a stop by the side of the road, leaving three 50-foot skid marks behind him. The 1988 Cutlass Supreme would have left four tracks, if not for the fact that the fourth wheel was nothing but an iron rim.
Roused by the sudden stop his travelling companion Hingle Heebly woke from his troubled sleep in the back seat. “What?! What is it?!” he blurted, his face a perfect blend of sleep and panic wrestling for control. He could go either way, and he knew that with Megabob at the wheel, things were either under complete control or absolutely fucked up beyond repair.
Megabob looked in the rearview, then pointed ahead. Hingle’s shoulders sank. “Fuck.”
An hour later, they’d walked the rest of the way overland, avoiding the road and approaching through the vinyard. They heard the commotion long before they could see it, but through the branches at the roadside they could see smoke billowing from an overturned tractor. A grizzly bear in a shawl and farmer hat was pinned under it, unable to free himself. He was being prodded and poked with sticks by at least half a dozen naked baby dolls painted in various colours.
Megabob looked at Heebly.
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Walking six feet apart, they emerged from the woods and advanced on the tractor, gaining ground as they blasted the dolls to pieces with sawed-off shotguns, Heebly firing as Megabob reloaded.
It was over in 25 seconds.
Then, as Thunder collected the doll heads, Heebly rested his gun barrels between the bear’s eyes. “No!” said the bear. “I can’t go back there!”
Heebly sighed. “Please, Jared,” he said, sadly. “You’re the only scientist bear left.”
