Polecat Simmons always gave people second chances. So when a black Escalade with a peeing Calvin sticker cut him off, Polecat calmly took his foot off the accelerator and put some space between them.
“That’s once,” thought Polecat, as the Escalade sped away.
Later that day at a gas station, a black Escalade came from the opposite direction and cut ahead into the gas pump Polecat had been waiting for.
He watched as the driver – a burly man with a trucker hat – got out and filled his tank without apology. Polecat backed up and took a turn around the pumps for another stall. As he drove behind the Escalade, he noticed the Calvin sticker again. “Twice,” he thought to himself.
Later, as he walked back to his truck after belligerently paying for his gas, the burly man noticed Polecat smiling at him. Opening his door, he stopped, staring meanly back.
“What’s your problem?” he said.
“You,” replied Polecat, still smiling. “You cut me off twice today. I only give second chances.”
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“Izzat right?” repeated the burly man. Polecat kept smiling. This irritated the burly man even further, and he got in his car and pulled over to a dark corner of the lot to wait.
When Polecat pulled out to go back into traffic, the SUV swerved in front of him and cut him off. Polecat smiled even more broadly than before as the burly man got out of the car with a tire iron and approached.
Polecat relaxed and closed his eyes.
As he swung to smash the window, the man’s molecules suddenly became a maelstrom of swirling, multicoloured points of light. The tire iron fell to the ground and he was transformed into a flock of confused, cooing pigeons. The Escalade, too, had morphed into a geyser of black birds of prey, and the lot of them disappeared into the night.
As he drove home, Polecat wondered if just maybe he’d overreacted.