Jeepers McGee flushed the toilet and, although he’d been working to overcome his OCD with doorknobs, light switches and oven controls, he jiggled the lever a few times for absolutely no reason.
“Hello?” said a voice from the toilet tank. Jeepers stared at the tank, like a man with a hamster wheel for a brain, if the hamster had just had a stroke.
“Hello…?” he replied finally. “Who is this?”
“A friend who can answer your questions,” replied the voice from the toilet tank.
Suspected a trick, so he moved towards the toilet, intent on removing the lid to find the speaker that was no doubt inside. “Wait!” said the voice. “You can’t look!”
“Why not?” said Jeepers.
“I’m not sure…” said the voice. “I just know it doesn’t work that way, Jeepers.”
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“How do you know my name?” asked Jeepers.
“I don’t know. But I know the cookies you like are hidden behind the cracker boxes in the cupboard.”
Jeepers went to look and sure enough, there was a full tray of cookies left in the bag he thought had gone missing, but really that his caseworker had hidden so he wouldn’t over indulge.
He grabbed the bag happily and ran back to the bathroom, leaving a trail of crumbs as he ate them two at a time. “How did you know?” he asked the voice.
But there was no answer. He jiggled the lever. “Are you there?” he asked. Silence. There was no one there. But the next day – after flushing – he tentatively jiggled the lever again. “Hello.” said the voice. Jeepers was overjoyed; he had a question.
Over the next 12 months, at the rate of one question per day, Jeepers overcame his social and psychological quirks. He went back to school. He became a successful music writer. He remarried. And when he became the Prime Minister of Canada, he successfully lobbied to have his toilet appointed to the Senate.