Dord swore as he pulled over. Already late for work, and all he needed were the red flashing lights he saw in the rearview mirror.
Sweat broke out on his brow.
He grabbed hold of the wheel, where the officer could see it… as he thought you were supposed to do. Where had he even heard that? Some crappy reality show, he figured. Unless the cop was Superman with x-ray vision, how could he see if anybody was holding the wheel?
A few minutes passed. “What the hell are they waiting for?” he thought. Then he realized they must be sending the plate numbers through the computer. “That’s weird,” he thought. “What a dumb way to say it. How can you send something ‘through’ the computer? It’s impossible…”
As the officer finally approached his car, Dord hit the window button and grabbed hold of the wheel.
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“Oh… yes,” Dord replied, fetching it from the glove compartment. “Please don’t say anything about me being a gorilla, please don’t say anything about me being a gorilla, please don’t…” and at that moment, Dord wondered if he’d actually said it out loud, or whether he had only thought it.
He handed the papers to the officer and tried not to make eye contact. Which is just as well, for the officer was indeed keeping one eye on him. Finally, he handed the papers back. “I stopped you because you have a tail light out,” said the officer. “Please get it checked.”
“Yessir, thank you, officer,” said a relieved Dord.
As the officer went back to his car, he shook his head and wondered why a Komodo Dragon had been given a driver’s license. And as Dord pulled back into traffic, he was oblivious to the fact that he didn’t even know what kind of animal he was.