316-word post, or “Granny Clouds”

It felt like a big, elaborate hoax. Indeed, the first mention of it had been on social media, and it had come from one of those crazy blogs that nobody took seriously, and spent many posts berating each other for posting in the first place.

The first ‘granny cloud’ had appeared over the Indian Ocean. It had taken a few weeks to form, and satellite images had shown that the storm had constantly seemed to change direction, always getting in the way of other high and low pressure systems that seemed to be trying vainly to form around it.

“It’s almost,” said Respected Weatherman Jones, cracking a joke, “As if this ‘granny cloud’ is just a very bad, slow driver, and other storm systems just can’t get around her.”

The world had laughed along with him. At a time when great storms were becoming the norm, the name ‘granny cloud’ made it seem so harmless. But when the ‘granny cloud’ had grown in size, it veered wildly north. Unbelievably, when it had made landfall over Anchorage, it had burst open, and a panicked local meteorologist had reported that it had begun raining old ladies – nearly 3 feet in 2 hours.

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Initially, the United Nations declared a state of World Emergency as these naked lady elders bounced off the rooftops and gathered in the eavestroughs, complaining about how cold they were, or how warm, or how nobody came to visit them.

Eventually, though, as the sun rose the next day, the grannies began to evaporate, leaving behind a scent that was somewhat a cross between shortbread, liniment, and gin.

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