The place is Easy Convenient, a little store in Little Italy. We find ERNESTO “ERNIE” CAPICHE, a little Italian teenager sweeping the floor.
A few months ago, Ernie quit school, telling his parents it was a waste of his time. “Maybe so,” they said in unison, as they always did, in the Italian way. “But you don’t wanna learn from books? Then you gonna learn from a broom!” Ernie is still trying to work up the nerve to tell his parents the broom hasn’t taught him anything.
His parents today are at a funeral service, and as is usually the case when his parents are away, the store has filled with more local teens, skipping classes and listen to 45 RPM RECORDS on a PORTABLE TURNTABLE. In the background, two girls in POODLE SKIRTS dance together, smoking cigarettes.
VINNY VAVOOM, his beatnick-looking BEST FRIEND is chatting with Ernie about last night’s episode of “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis”.
Ernie looks at the clock. It is 3:29. This means something to him. He grabs a soda from the cooler, and heads outside with Vinnie. A dog starts barking. The TENSION MUSIC IS OMINOUS and the street is DESERTED.
VINNIE: Ey, capiche, what gives?
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THEN… appearing from a sudden time vortex in the middle of the street, The ground rumbles. Ernie’s soda bottle explodes. A nearby fire hydrant explodes.
A LIVE ORIENTAL DRAGON appears. It is being ridden by FUTURISTIC DANCING CREATURES IN VESTS. It pulls a PARADE FLOAT with a banner that reads “HAPPY 1998” on which are MORE DANCING THINGS dancing to FUTURE MUSIC.
They hold on to a telephone pole for dear life. Then, the DRAGON AND FLOAT run into the mouth of a FLYING WHALE that disappears into the sky.
ERNIE Did you see it this time?
VINNIE: No, man! But I swallowed my gum!