‘Twas now long past midnight dreary, I was knackered, bleak and bleary,
Having failed to coax that Raven out the door.
While I plotted, fingers snapping, suddenly the bird was flapping,
As he started rudely crapping, crapping on my chamber door!
“What fresh hell is this?” I shouted, ‘Crapping on my chamber door?”
Quoth the Raven, “Here’s Lenore.”
Ah, distinctly I’m recalling, smelling Lenore’s corpse, appalling!
And I got the heebie-jeebies as she burst in through the door!
The blood in my faced drained, as she lurched to eat my brain!
And to the gun rack did I run. Kaboom! She hit the floor;
I cried “Sweet Lord! I’ve sent her to her doom!”
Quoth the Raven, “Not so soon!”
It was then that I remembered: Poor Lenore had been dismembered,
By the lake, six days ago, by Zombie hordes.
Then she stood up, looking wretched! Out of ammo, and dejected,
I ran past her towards the woodshed, where my RPG was stored.
On the wing appeared the Raven! “Sweet bird, help me!” I implored!
Quoth the Raven; “My name’s Gord.”
What a time for introductions! “Go to hell!” was my instruction!
And I turned my rocket towards undead Lenore.
As she pitifully came trudging, in my pants I started fudging,
And I felt the Raven watching me as sweat began to pour.
Then that black bird nipped my ear lobe! Oh! He was rotten to the core!
Quoth he; “WHATCHOO WAITIN’ FOR?!”
So I blasted her to Kingdom Come! Her pieces rained like fishing chum,
And something died within me, at the core.
I had lost a lover, grisly, but the dawn’s light, grey and drizzly,
Revealed to me what life now held in store.
With a crapping bird to shoulder, and my blood a little colder,
We’re now Poe and Raven.
Zombie Hunters.
Evermore.