Buster had decided to walk upright, as the humans did. It only made sense, since the talking faces on the light box had been saying that brain research on dogs had revealed that dogs were people, too.
It took him several days to master the technique, practicing in front of the full-length mirror in his humans’ bedroom. He’d fallen over many times, and his haunches became sore as hell. And he wasn’t entirely happy with how bulgy his eyes got when he had to crane his neck from side to side to keep from falling over.
But finally, he mastered just the right gait, using his tail and forepaws as counterweights. He was walking!
At first, the humans of the house had been delighted.
“Buster?” the she-human had crooned. “Are you walking like a little man?”
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And though the hims always asked “Who’s the good boy,” Buster thought he began to hear tone, as though, somehow his alpha felt threatened, now that they both were upright walkers.
Buster had certainly noticed other dogs in the neighbourhood seemed less than impressed when they went on poop walks. As he now felt it beneath him to squat on all fours as he had previously. Why stop and drop, when he could now freely relieve himself from front AND back while on the move?
From his new upright vantage point, he now saw the act of his humans picking up his poop in a different light. They were all people, now… but, somehow, wasn’t HE really the alpha here?
This was, in fact, the platform on which he ran in his bid for office. And although he was defeated narrowly, Buster vowed to run again.