297-word post, or “No Questions Asked”

So this guy’s eatin’ a sandwich in the lunch room, I ain’t never seen him before, but he’s just standing there, kind of all vacant in the eyeballs, chewin’, and pretty much just in the way of me gettin’ to the fridge.

So I tries to get by and he’s all of a sudden givin’ me this push and shoves me back like 3 feet, but he doesn’t even look at me but I can tell now he’s a scrapper.

So I’m wary now, but then don’t Wade come around the corner and I give Wade the bug-eyes and the old ‘get a load of this guy at the fridge’ with my eyebrows, but Wade just looks at me right confused and just opens his fridge and gets his lunch and then heads back out.

Well, now I really don’t know what to do ‘cause now I think this guy’s totally outta line and I’m about ready to ask him “What the hell, guy?” but then he just turns his head toward me like an owl and all creepy like he just whispers “Only you can see me…”

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Anyway, I seen red then and grabbed the toner cartridge and I whacked buddy upside the head five or six times, and he’s just takin’ it and not puttin’ up a fight or nothin’, and I start feeling bad ‘cause I’m messin’ up buddy’s face real good.

Now the whole place is covered in toner, guy runs away and I’m left to clean it. Bugger of a day. So, I didn’t keep the receipt, but what’s your exchange policy for this shirt?

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