286-word post, or “Greasy Spoon Robbery”

It was your typical hold-up at gunpoint at a greasy spoon.

Several armed thugs had come in, wearing panty-hose masks.  Patrons were told to “stay put” and “keep your hands on the table” and “nobody moves nobody gets hurt” and the waitress was jostled to the cash register.

It was then that the lead thug in the white hose mask – keeping a gun trained on the slightly useless young cashier doing her best to actually open the cash register – heard a weird noise.

Distracted, he looked around. Gone now, but it had sounded like air going into a balloon. He looked at the old man sitting by the door.

“I’m sorry,” said the cashier, snapping gum, “It’s one of those registers where I gotta make a sale before I can open –”

“Well, pretend to MAKE one, then!” interrupted White Hose. “Oh, duh, right,” she said, hitting buttons.

As the cash opened, White Hose heard it again. And so did the other 3 cronies holding guns on the staff and patrons. They whirled around. The noise stopped.
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White Hose blinked and looked at the old man. Something weird was happening.

“Okay, cutie,” he said to the cashier, “Hurry up before –“ and again, the noise. He looked at the old man again. The noise stopped, but now he was sure. “Was that you, old man?” he said.

The old man looked at him, feigning surprise. “Hmn? Sorry?” he said.

“Are you making that noise and growing like a balloon?” asked White Hose.

“No,” lied the old man, who then popped and blew squealing around the room and flew out the open door, leaving the thugs to finish their robbery.

Because some mutant powers just suck.

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