“You’re a goofball!” yelled Stonge.
“You’re a numbskull!” countered Cranberry.
“You smell like ladies perfume!” attacked Stonge.
“You smell like beeswax!” jabbed Cranberry.
Mouths in the audience fell open. What had just happened? It was generally known among the spectators at the World Heavyweight Insult Match – aka “The Yo Mammas” – that Beeswax actually didn’t really smell bad at all. Cranberry – the reigning champ – had thrown out a real lame-oh.
This had suddenly turned into a REAL match. All the bookies in the house began sweating.
The hail of punishing jibes continued; a rain of blows.
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“YOU’RE A COMPOST!” parried Stonge, through gritted teeth.
The crowd rose to its feet. NOBODY in the history of these games had EVER insulted someone by simply calling them the same thing their opponent had called them by adding “YOU’RE A” in front of it.
Cranberry did a double-take. Silence descended on the ring and the two stared at each other. The bell dinged and the insulters went back to their corners as the referees conferred.
Moments later, the Ring Master grabbed the microphone and a hush descended on the crowd. “While there is a strict no repeats rule, adding the words “YOU’RE A” to the beginning of an previously hurled insult is technically allowable. Point and match, Stonge!”
The crowd went wild, equally ecstatic and furious that their champion had succumbed to cleverness over sheer brute disrespect.
And then, as was the custom, the crowd rushed the ring and fed the loser to the new champion.