The new King had requested that the buffet table at his coronation party must be the most auspicious feast ever prepared for a coronation, specifically stating it must also be ‘a feast for the eyes’.
The buffet table was decorated with beautiful linen, and stacks of the finest china and silverware on the far end, where guests were meant to line up, grab a plate and eat, drink and merry-make.
However, the guests stood in the cue, horrified. The buffet table was overflowing with dishes who main component was eyes. Bowls of eye soup sat untouched. Eye sausage with eyebrow garnish remained unsullied by tasting, and eyes floated in cubes of eye gelatin. A dozen 60-pound dragon’s eye au jus sat untouched, the carving chefs standing sullenly as none would taste their wares.
The King was appalled and outraged. “I’m appalled and outraged!” he bellowed, and had the terrible caterer brought before him. “What is this outrage?!” he bellowed.
“But, sire,” groveled the terrible caterer. “You wished a feast of the eyes and that is what I delivered!”
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“FOR THE EYES! NOT ‘OF’ THE EYES!” railed the King. “Don’t you know the difference between a preposition and a coordinating conjunction?!”
“I think they’re both prepositions in this case, sire,” said the forlorn caterer.
“RIDICULOUS!” yelled the King. Then, he paused. “Wait. No. I think you’re right.”
And the King – so embarrassed to be seen lacking in grammar – missed the point entirely and decreed a series of English classes for all, but his now mostly-blind subjects saw none of the posted notices. Typical.