255-word post, or “Marvin and Lana”

There once was a man named Marvin. Despite his neuroses, he thought of himself as a mostly good person and he hoped people had that opinion of him, though he knew not everybody had to like him, a fact of life he had come to accept of late.

A serial monogamist, he had many hang-ups about relationships, often wanting who he could not have, or having who he did not want. For that reason he felt true love would never find him.

One night, as he worked late, oblivious of his unhealthy life/work balance, his cellphone rang. “Hello?” he said. “Where are you?” said the voice on the other end. “Aren’t we meeting at 8?” he said. “No. It was 7,” said Lana. “The show has started already.”

Marvin’s heart sank.

“Listen,” she said. “There’s a bar near your place. I’m going to have a glass of wine. If you’re there, awesome. If not, great.” Then she hung up.

And he made it out for that glass of wine. She asked him the right questions, and he gave all the wrong answers. But she saw through his bullshit.
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And despite his continued dumb choices, they fell in love.

He made her watch the Star Wars Trilogy, which she slept through. And she helped him become the person he actually was.

And on her birthday, he wrote a weird little story about how they got together, and there was nothing weird about it.

Unless you count the fact that they both had celery stalks for eyeballs.