The daycare toddlers seemed to be innocently sitting in a rough semi-circle, playing with blocks, teddies or pacifiers. But nothing was further from the truth.
“I’m telling you,” said Max, shaking his rattle. “Naptime is a lie! An illusion! The world keeps going when we’re napping!”
“Heresy!” cried Harriet, retriggering her colic.
“Then how do you explain,” said Max, “That when we get rocked to sleep by an adult, they aren’t always there when we wake up?”
“That’s at daycare,” said Gus. “At home, mom’s always there when I wake up.”
Grendl snarled. “That’s cause your mom’s a lazy bi –“
“Toddlers!” said Archie, pounding blocks to restore order. “Can we not all agree that we have TWO lives, one extra-nap and one intra-nap, and that both are equally valid?”
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“Those are dreams, you dick!” shrilled Yeardley, shitting herself for emphasis.
“Oh, right, dreams!” retorted Archie. “Yeah, tell us MORE about your retarded theory about subconscious mind crap that’s just a reflection of the battle between our id and ego!”
All this commotion brought the attention of the daycare workers, who knew that such cranky babies needed their naps.
“Fine!” yelled Max as they were all picked up. “You sheep do what you want! But I know that really awesome stuff goes on after we go to sleep! Fight the oppressor!” he wailed, refusing the bottle and resisting the relaxing see-saw of being cradled. “I WON’T! I WON’T –“
And then he was under, and the world kept going.
