A couple approached a mooring near the Rialto Bridge to enquire about hiring a gondola for a romantic ride along the Venetian canals.
“Please, only to step on my gondola,” said Enzo, a young gondolier, wearing the traditional black pants, striped shirt and hat of his trade.
“Mi scusi, per favore,” called another gondolier, a few boats over. “You would kindly more to come with me.”
The couple shifted uncomfortably as the two gondoliers began to argue. “Eh! Antonio, zitto! They come with me,” the young man motioned to them, smiling broadly. “Please, come!”
The couple moved closer, when the other gondolier piped up again. “Eh! Eh! Eh! Mister, miss, non tocare, eh? Don’t touch him! Lui è un cannibale!”
“Eh! Antonio! Zitto! Shut uppa you face, eh?!” menaced the young gondolier. “Come,” he said again smilingly to the couple, “This way.”
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“Wait,” said the woman, consulting her Berlitz. “Did he just call you a cannibal?” She called over to Antonio. “Did you call him a cannibal?”
“Si, si! Enzo è un cannibale, un cannibal – vedere! Look! See!” replied Antonio, holding up a bandaged stump for a hand.
Annoyed, young Enzo picked up a tibia lying at the bottom of his boat and threw it, hitting Antonio in the temple and sending him overboard. The couple, terrified, ran away.
“You lucky the gondolier polizia already give me one strike!” he yelled at Antonia as he came up for air.
