Month: September 2013

Since The Great Reckoning, war had been outlawed. “The Elections” were instead decided by showdowns of musical prowess. The reigning Alpha for the last decade was Chortles Harshly, a complete and utter dick. But if you believed the rumours, he was a clone of The Malmsteen, and unbeatable. The tribes gathered, making their way through … Read more

“You’re a goofball!” yelled Stonge. “You’re a numbskull!” countered Cranberry. “You smell like ladies perfume!” attacked Stonge. “You smell like beeswax!” jabbed Cranberry. Mouths in the audience fell open. What had just happened? It was generally known among the spectators at the World Heavyweight Insult Match – aka “The Yo Mammas” – that Beeswax actually … Read more

The shards of the broken, retro sugar bowl seemed to stare back at Hanger Grimes in disdain. As if somehow, he’d done it on purpose. He hadn’t. And he tried to explain that to the pile of sugar on the floor that had once been so carefully contained by the sugar bowl. “Guys, I’m sorry. … Read more