Month: April 2013

I was filling up with unleaded last night when, to my surprise, Bill Murray got into my passenger seat. “I’ve got no time to explain,” he said, “Just get in!” I opened my door and was about to say something like “uhhh…” but suddenly, Margaret Cho materialized in the front seat. She shot Bill with … Read more

A nondescript man entered a nondescript convenience store where, amidst nondescript aisles, he found a not-completely-nondescript bag of chips. No nutritional information, bar code, ingredients or expiry date; just the words “Bottomless Chips” in Helvetica. He offered $1 to the nondescript cashier who mumbled: “Meh.” The nondescript man opened the bag. The truth is that … Read more

Jeepers Magoo sat. He sat waiting for something to happen. He always felt when something was going to happen, and those somethings always happened when he sat waiting for the happenings to happen. It just so happened that Constance Croonstopper happened by, noticing Jeepers just sitting there. “Hey, Jeepers Magoo,” she said, using both his … Read more