After intense negotiation between PETA and the World Bullfighting Association, it was decided to put an end to bull-fighting.
Still, to honour the centuries-old tradition, it was agreed there could still be a bloodless contest pitting man against the horned beast: a round-robin checkers tournament.
So now, after 12 grueling hours at Pamplona, Spain’s very first “Checking of the Bulls” festival, the final human champion Heinrich Glumprsh was squared off against Il Tornado, last of the bulls.
Sweat trickled down Heinrich’s brow. While most of his previous challengers had stared dimly at their pieces, pushing them hesitantly from square to square with pointer sticks held in their mouths, Il Tornado’s narrowed eyes would travel over the board, mapping out all the possibilities, till he’d decided his next move. Then, keeping full intimidating eye contact with Heinrich, he would move his piece using his left horn.
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But now, down to 1 piece, a king that would be in check in 2 moves, Il Tornado knew he was beaten. So he pulled out a concealed pistol and shot Heinrich in the face.
The moral of the story is bulls are dangerous.
