We wanted to order the vindaloo.
“I would not recommend it,” said the waiter. “Our chef is from the south and he’s quite traditional, so it’s very very hot.”
We insisted we could handle the vindaloo.
He smiled. “But when I’m telling you it’s really hot, I mean…” and here he leaned in for emphasis. “I mean it’s really fucking hot.”
Perhaps the words “really fucking hot” might have swayed others. But no.
“White people usually don’t like it.”
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Racist? Perhaps. But we wanted vindaloo, and vindaloo we received.
The experience which followed was something not only physical, visual, audible and spiritual… but astral. Not unlike a space helmet being lowered on your head. A space helmet filled with the lies and secrets of the universe. For 12 minutes, we were aware only of our own tortured breathing and the sound of screaming goats.
When we returned to this plane after our dream walk of spices, we were naked as when we were born, helpless as babes, sitting in puddles of our own filth.
“I told you so,” said our waiter when we asked for more yoghurt.
