The year was 2098, and Canadian hockey’s wettest of all dreams was coming true; the final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs between the Charlottetown Maple Leafs and the Nunuavut Canadiens.
Every match went into overtime. CBC had reacquired the rights to the “Hockey Night in Canada” theme. The jarred brains of Ron MacLean and Don Cherry were reanimated; their madcap babblings of “You call that hockey?” and “Why have you awaken us?” had viewers in hysterics.
But it was sometime during the 2nd period that something weird happened.
One by one, every player on the ice simply got sucked into endzone red dots and disappeared.
The clock was stopped, and the crowd stood in utter disbelief.
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The NHL had expanded recently, most notably to the Arcturia Nebula, who were calling in their trades. Given time and space-zone difference, it was early in our dimension, but perfectly legal in theirs.
Within moments, all the human players had been replaced with haystacks. All legit, according to Arcturian fine print.
Even in the future, it’s the fans who will suffer the most.