“No two ways about it, folks, it smells fishy in here! Maybe it’s all the fish? I’m Bemoanus Trank, and welcome back to Dead-or-Alive Celebrity Earthling All-Star Grudge Match!”
“A quick recap for anybody just joining us; it’s the year 2056 on Earth, but that’s meaningless here on the inter-dimensional reality-tv-planet of Fjornwerld
“For those of you following the tournament, you’ll remember that time-travelling Joni Mitchell had commandeered a warp-powered 1846 fishing boat with the help of the 12th century Necromancer known as @.
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“We go now live to the jousting field, where King Arthur squares off against Beyonce. The winner must then face Squid-Mind-controlled Emmanuelle Lewis in the kick-boxing round!”