155-word post, or “The Man Who Was Metaphor Blind”

Pangbort Thrange was born metaphor-blind. He always said what he meant and meant what he said. He’d once ended a relationship with a woman who’d said she was hungry enough to eat a horse.

“I can’t condone cruelty to animals,” he’d said, and when she’d joking replied, “Oh, yes, I’m a monster,” he’d screamed and thrown himself off the balcony to escape.

Upon recovery from the coma, Pangbort underwent 12 years of therapy for metaphor-blindness.  He came to understand simile and hyperbole in his own way.

He dabbled in art therapy, and he realized that just as we cover ourselves in layers of metaphor, so too we cover ourselves in layers of art… and so, Pangbort opened up a body-art shop that specialized in Herve Villechaise tattoos.
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“That’s a little on the nose,” said his first customer, who later sued him when Pangbort stuck the tattoo needle in his nose.

Tiny steps, Pangbort. Tiny steps.

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