The stone that Clompus Fiddlesticks skipped out into the ocean had spent 12 million years getting to the beach.
The stone bided it’s time, nursing a stony grudge on the ocean floor.
The stone was flung out into the far reaches of space when our sun exploded, fused into a bigger stone 3 metres wide, the only surviving physical relic of the planet.
The stone was found adrift by a race of alien scientists who realized it was sentient, and elected it as their leader.
The stone enlisted the aliens’ brightest minds; and within 1000 years, had mastered the secrets of time, space and dimension.
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The stone traveled backwards through time and space to Earth, at the exact moment after Clompus Fiddlesticks had tossed it into the ocean.
The stone crushed Clompus Fiddlesticks to a pulp.
Because fuck him, that’s why.
