139-word post, or “Top 10 Things To Say Just Before Farting”

  1. Tell me what you think about this new ring-tone I just installed. [MULTIPLE FARTS]
  2. Have you noticed weird noises around here lately? I think we’ve got Barking Spiders. [FART] Yip. Definitely barking spiders.
  3. Babe, I think there’s something I need to tell you. Something I never told you before today because I didn’t think you’d understand. But we’ve been together a long time now and I trust you completely. [FART] My ass is haunted.
  4. Aiee! Aiee! Aiee! No me gusta! [FART]
  5. THE DEFENSE RESTS! [FART]
  6. Survey SAYS?!?! [FOR LONG ‘BUZZER’ FARTS]
  7. Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a [FART].
  8. The acai berry is recognized as one of the most effective forms of ED medications with a lot of competition from tadalafil and vardenafil, generic levitra prices respectively. Gallbladder attack symptoms are usually because of stones in the gallbladder. generic cialis 20mg hartbuildersinc.com cialis 100mg Can you imagine yourself as ED patient who is given general anesthesia for the surgery. You don’t have cheapest viagra in uk to let physical illness overwhelm you emotionally.

  9. [feign oncoming sneeze; ie:] Ah! Ah! Ah! [FART]
  10. “Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the news, I gotta… bad case of –[FART]”
  11. One, two, three, FOUR, FIVE, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven [FART].

 

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