Boregard had never been this hungry before.
He’d eaten a healthy breakfast; if you didn’t count the 3 extra bacon slices, which he lied to his wife about anyway (as usual). Mid-morning: apple. Lunch: ham on rye, split pea soup. Snack: almonds.
But soon after dinner – pork roast, potatoes, peas and gravy – he began to eat his table, chairs, furniture and family members and he realized he was in trouble.
When he began to eat the town, the military was called.
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As the Blackhawk helicopters began their strafing runs, he screamed “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!” But of course, he was now, in fact, a town-eating animal.
The moral of the story? Don’t lie to your wife about eating extra bacon.
