If there was something Alabama Chief Justice Arglo Nawk could not abide, it was a quiet gavel.
In 40 years since becoming a circuit judge in Alabama, he’d used beech (useless), elm (meh) and mahogany. (feh). Try as he might, he’d never discovered just the right material that could convey the proper gravitas and volume of his authority the scoff-laws that littered his court-room.
But when Chief Justice Arglo Nawk eschewed the use of a gavel and instead released a meth-fed Canadian Bobcat into the witness stand, the great state of Alabama had had enough.
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“I’ll tell ya whut,” he said during his arraignment hearing. “That fucker were LOUD!”