Smelvin Kordite had been lighting his farts for years.
It started as a dare at a sleepover, but the fame of his flame soon spread across the tri-county area. He did it at his First Communion, at the dentist, and on dates. Spewing angry-blue-ephemeral-ass-plumes was his thing.
He did it with matches. He did it with lighters. Once he did it with static electricity from a balloon rubbed against a badger.
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But last night, when the Egyptian Flame-God Komenroth exploded from his anus, screaming “I AM RELEEEEASED! BLEARGH!” and began eating the guests at the $50-per plate Blue Angel Orphan’s Fundraiser, he was as surprised as anyone.
