For weeks, Gord Nixon, President and CEO of Royal Bank of Canada, kept admitting what a soulless, mealy-mouthed organization RBC had become under his leadership. For days, he’d received satellite photos from the Antarctic in which penguins were spelling out words in the snow:

HOLYSHITBALLS

WTFGORD?

THROW HARPER GOV’T UNDER BUS

But it was the final photograph he’d received today that spelled it all out:
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PLAN B

His hair lay in clumps on the bathroom floor and the shaving of his eyebrows was about to begin. Tomorrow, Gord would walk to the RBC head office at Yonge and Front Street in Toronto and self-immolate.