“Klandestiny Jones has been eating peanuts out of the shell for years, and Klandestiny Jones ain’t about to quit eating peanuts out of the shell now!” hollered Klandestiny Jones, to anyone within earshot of the checkout line of the Washburn, Illinois Save-On.
In reality, Klandestiny Jones was allergic to peanuts. But she was scared out of her wits.
“What are you lookin’ at? Yeah, you! OM NOM NOM, DICKFACE!”
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What the rest of the annoyed-but-would-soon-be-screaming customers didn’t understand was that Klandestiny Jones had eaten a pound of psilocybin, and this lineup of shelled assholes was getting on her last nut.
